A long time ago...

As we get older in life, it sometimes feels like parts of our youth seem to fade into dreams or myths or events that somehow we remember, but it is a memory clouded by the mists of time.

I can’t tell you the exact time or the exact date, but I can tell you that one of the earliest memory I’ve ever had is of going to a movie called The Empire Strikes Back way back in 1980.  In the small town of Somerset West where I lived, we had a single cinema called Mini Cine 1.  This was before the days of multiplexes and massive shopping malls and an endless supply of movie choices.

But I remember entering the dimmed theatre surrounded by my two brothers and my sister and my mom and my dad – who was the exact same age then as I am now.

It was the first movie I ever remember seeing in a cinema.  And still now, 35 years later, I can recall the thrill that filled me, and the anticipation that surrounded me, and the exhilaration that I felt at the adventure on which I was about to embark.  For this was something new, something fresh, something I hadn’t done before.

And after seeing a bunch of ads for cigarettes – yes they existed then, the biggest screen I had ever seen in my life leapt from its canvas with an explosion of sound that only John Williams could produce – a sound accompanied by images I had never seen.  And, as if I was being hit by a massive lightning bolt, I was thrown from this world and hurled across space to a galaxy far far away.   My sensors went into overload – tapping all the parts of the brain that my young and new body had never seen or felt.

Because as I watched this outer world adventure of swashbuckling heroes and ominous villains, it wasn’t just the movie I appreciated.  It was being in a moment of time that when I look back now is etched into my soul – like an immovable object that stays firm while the world around it changes. 

And when I think back to that night, there are some details that are as vivid as if I was back there this very second. I enter the doors and walk on the carpeted floor that slopes downwards.  I sat in those brown seats that were so big, it felt like I had my own sofa.  The music that would fill my ears with delight, as I watched the opening scrolling words rise up before me.  And I remember how the cinema was empty – so my brothers and I were running up and down the aisles, sitting in every seat we could to try to get the best possible view.

And then there are others details that go beyond the description of mere words.  Because they are feelings.  The feeling of excitement that filled me.  Being out during the evening on a cool winter’s night.  The excitement of receiving free lollies as we’d enter the cinema.  The smells of popcorn.  The hum of the projector starting up and the bridge of light transmitting above our heads. The ticket stubs that unlike the ones of today were like flyers decorated in colours and images.

Life changes for all of us, but there are moments that seem to transcend the normal passage of time.  Moments which cannot be simply defined.  Moments that are precious and unique and special and moments that no other person on earth can ever feel the same about – because they are yours alone.

And when you’re a kid of 6 years old, the whole world is a mystery.  Every moment of every day is an adventure to itself.  The smallest things we take for granted in our daily lives are colossal events that define you and make you dream in a world where dreams often fade away like morning mist.

That night, in a small town in South Africa, in a place farthest from the brightest centre of the universe, Star Wars took me on a journey that sometimes I still feel I’m on.  Oh – I’m aware of the real world.  And I’m aware of its pitfalls and tragedies.  And I’m aware of the despair that sometimes accompanies life.  But I’m also aware of the wonder and mysticism and the adventure and the excitement of dreaming about worlds so different to our own.

And now many years later, as I’ve reached the same age as my dad was when he took us to see Star Wars, I too will take my kids to a new Star Wars movie and share with them a moment in time and an adventure – one that will hopefully one day in the future, many years from now, cause them to remember a moment in their childhood with fondness and with mystery and with excitement the way I still do.

Robin Williams - he lived before he died

When I heard that Robin Williams had died, I was instantly shocked.  How could someone we have known, and watched, and enjoyed for so long – simply be gone.  That shock eventually dissipated and was replaced with an overwhelming sense of loss and emptiness.  It is a loss that is hard to quantify, when so much of what he’s done seems intertwined with our lives.  Who can forget his portrayal of Genie in Aladdin, or his words of inspiration and truth in Good Will Hunting?

Despite the sadness of knowing that there will no more Robin Williams movies, we are also lucky that so much of his work remains for us to watch and enjoy.

Although Robin William’s death is a tragedy, there are of course, far more real tragedies in the world that occur every day, such as death and famine and war where thousands of people die, but nevertheless his death is one that the world seems to have taken personally.

The reason why people around the world are so effected by his death is that in him lies a reflection of all of us.  We had a person who achieved amazing things, who caused us to laugh and cry, who fought with demons and seemed to conquer them for a time, only to ultimately fall by them.  He probably reflects both the best of what we can be as well as the fear of what we can become.

The tragedy of Robin Williams is that he had so much more to give the world.  In there lies a microcosm of all of us.  We all have potential – some realised and some not.  Robin Williams was a life cut short, but at least he lived before he died.

In this world, the ultimate tragedy of life is not simply dying, but not having lived in the first place.

The night time shopping adventure

It’s winter here in Australia.  Which means it’s cold.  Well… I mean, not snow covered streets cold.  Or ice rinks in the middle of the city cold.  Or thirteen layers of clothing cold.  But cold.  Unless you’re in Darwin where it’s 32 degrees today (or 90 Fahrenheit).  But… it’s also 32 degrees there in the middle of summer, winter, spring and autumn.  So that doesn’t count.

But here in Melbourne, it’s 10 degrees at the moment or 50 Fahrenheit.  So that’s cold.  But as cold as that is, I’m kind of excited because… I have a mission.  Now, it’s not a regular mission and I probably won’t get an award.  In fact, I will get chastised, but nevertheless I’m looking forward to it.  Because as cold as the night is, and as dark as the streets are, and as chilly as that winter wind blowing through the trees feels – I have to go out.  To do some shopping.

That’s right – I have been told by my wife that we need cheese, biscuits, milk, cupcakes, some apples and bananas and a big bag of crisps.   Well, actually that bag of crisps wasn’t on the list, but I’m improvising.  It should take 15 minutes I’ve been told.

And let me tell you, I love going shopping at night.  Because, you see, being married with kids, means it’s like for the first time in the day, I get some ME time.  And not to mention how extremely cool it is to find a parking instantly!  Yup, back to my bachelor days.  The days where I’d cruise the aisles of the local supermarket, looking for the ready to cook meals where all you do is peel the plastic back and stick it in the microwave for 7 minutes.  I was pretty good at those.  So here I am again, strutting my stuff through the multi-coloured aisles, feeling like a reeeeeeeeeal man – oooooooo look!  A special on dish-washing liquid!

But you see, as I scan the list of things that I need to buy, I soon realise that it isn’t quite as easy as I thought it would be.  A few things for my wife equates to about a trolley load for me.  And what is up with the different kinds of soy milk?  I thought soy or not, but it turns out there’s soy lite and soy heavy.  Milky soy and creamy soy.  Soy which tastes like milk and soy that tastes like almonds… or is that almond milk?  Soy for weekends and soy for weekdays.  And as I stand in the aisle staring at the multitude choices, I remark smugly to the person next to me that technically it shouldn’t be called soy milk at all, since it’s not even milk.  Unfortunately, people who go late night shopping don’t seem to appreciate the intricacies of conversations of the types of milk – or any conversations at all really.

And after phone call thirteen to my wife, I finally establish the one I’m supposed to get.  But then it comes to biscuits – and this is where it gets tricky, because I have to ask myself the question the men who do late night shopping ask every time.  Are the chocolate biscuits in the chocolate aisle or in the biscuit aisle?  Luckily with technology, we have now have smartphone apps for supermarkets.  So most of the time when you see people walking around staring at the phones, it’s not because they’re on Facebook, it’s because they’re looking for the right aisle to find what they’re looking for.

Then there’s the fruit section which we can clearly see has been designed with a target female audience in mind.  Because every time I take one of those silly packets, I spend the next ten minutes trying to open the bloody thing!  I’m rubbing my two fingers, trying to pry it open with my car keys, not even knowing if I’m attempting to do it on the proper side.  I even try stabbing a hole in it then pulling it apart that way. Finally when I do manage to get it open, I see some lady walk by, grab a bag and open it effortlessly!  What is their secret?? 

Then there’s the specials I see lined across the aisles, like that packet of cherry flavoured coffee.  It’s true we don’t need it or like it, but if I just buy 18 packets, I get the 19^th free!  What a deal!  Men are far more logical than women.  And another thing I take personal pride in is that I always look at the price per 100g price.  I will be making sure that I get the most bang for my buck!

Then there’s those wonderful self-serving checkout, which I personally like, because any situation where you don’t have to talk to people is a win.  However, since all the regular checkouts are closed, it becomes a logistical nightmare when you have more than three items!  Because there’s no space!  And every time I move a bag to make more space, an alarm starts blaring.

But you see we men can be quite skilful at shopping, and not many people are able to turn a 15 minute shopping session into an hour and a half.  Of course, when I do make it home, I get told that’s not the brand the kids like, or what was I thinking getting this one?  And why did I get 19 packets of cherry flavoured coffee.   My persuasive argument on specials was clearly not hitting the mark.

But despite the trauma, I’m able to sit back and enjoy those few fleeting moments where I was once again a man’s man.   Where I was in charge.  When I made the decisions.  Where I decided - what’s that??  Oh no!  We’re out of sugar! 

G-d predicted the mobile phone

In the olden days – I’m talking about pre 1995, you would write something called a letter that took hours to write, perhaps for a love interest that lived across the globe.  You’d craft it in your finest hand writing, being extra careful to avoid spelling mistakes and making sure you said all you wanted to say.  You’d then go down to the post office and (gosh) send it by mail to your friend across the world, using square shaped objects called stamps.  And for weeks, you’d check the post box each day, anticipating a reply, hoping for the reaction you wanted, nervous if you had sounded cool enough or sensitive enough – or completely stupid!  And when that day finally came, where the mailbox would contain the reply you had been longing for, you’d treasure the envelope, caressing it close to your heart, waiting for the right moment to peel back the paper covering and reveal the carefully crafted words inside.

But something happened in the last twenty years.  Our lives changed irrevocably, and the gaps between the lives of our generation and our parent’s generations became a chasm, changed in such a fundamental way that it could never be unchanged again.

Because around that time back in 1995 the Internet hit its strides and started becoming our source for… well, for everything.

Since that moment, all the world’s knowledge became available on a computer, and even since then and now, the very definition of a computer has changed.  These days, all information is now available at our fingertips – we don’t even have to move to unlock the secrets of the world.

And of course, the lines between work and home have also blurred.  And although the idea of leaving the work at the office hasn’t changed – what has changed is the fact that the office in now in your pocket.

Along with the advent of Facebook and Twitter and other social media, our lives have become extremely busy.  We are constantly tied to our handheld devices, scanning them for instant information, immediate results, and live streams of news events.  We even customize our notification alert sounds so that we can simply hear if we’ve been mentioned in a Tweet, or tagged in Facebook, or emailed from a particular account.  We don’t even have to look at our devices – but we look anyway.

Our lives have become fast – so fast, that anything less that instant gratification feels… flat.  If you send someone a text, you remain fixated on your phone, expecting an instant reply, despite the fact that it could be ten in the morning here, and two in the morning there.  And if you don’t get one, then suddenly, you ask yourself, am I being ignored?  Why haven’t they responded?   Why did I get so few Likes??

And with that expectation of instant answers and instant feedback, our senses have become dulled – those moments of anticipation evaporating in the knowledge that everything is instant.

Our lives have become so fast – that the scenery around us has blurred.  We do not always notice the trees swaying gently in the breeze, or the birds tweeting excitedly, or the scent of flowers blooming in the fresh morning air, or the laughter or the tears or the sadness or the joy in other people’s faces as they walk by.

But you see, G-d predicted the mobile phone, and He predicted the pace at which we live our lives, and so right back in the beginning, He gave us Shabbat – the Jewish day of rest.  But he did not do it stop us from watching the latest cat video from YouTube, or the latest Instagram pictures of a cute baby on top of a volcano, or the latest sports results from the European soccer league.  He gave it to us to take a breather, to sit back and think, to spend time with our families, and even dream for a while.  Because every great idea in the world started from a dream.

In a way, Shabbat is that spiritual rejuvenation our minds crave, as well as the physical rejuvenation our bodies need.  Perhaps, it really does allow us to stop and smell the roses, where before we did not even notice them.  Of all the commandments that G-d gave to us back on Mount Sinai, it’s probably the one that is the most community orientated without even mentioning the community!  And the reason is that it actually forces you to put away the technology that controls our lives and interact on a social level with other people.  And in a modern technological society like us, social interaction seems to be an art slowly disappearing.

The world is fast – so fast, but if we slow down just a little, the blurred faces we see going past us can come into focus once again.  And the emotions we all wear upon our faces can become clearer – so clear that the beauty of the world can be revealed to us so that we may gaze upon it with our own eyes, and not just through the amoled screens of a mobile phone.  

Perhaps the apathy that seems to govern much our lives can be replaced with empathy – and oh how better the world would be then…